The ones who don't love

"Without you there is no beauty."

Lie!

The worst feeling that one can get is to believe he/she is happy without his last love or any love, but I said
last" because well you've just forgotten it, whichever that is.. And I say "worst thing" because having such power at hand means never falling in love again. And not because you're hurt, but because you realize you're better off without anyone by your side. Of course, you have a gf/bf for a time, but you'll never love her/him, you finally have the world at your feet and that is devastating, my friend.

Power is the biggest challenge of all. You can't control it. You can't run from it. You like it too much already. And this feeling will make you feel as empty as an abyss. You have this power, but there is no one with whom you can share it. And what is a kingdom without its queen and king together? Emptiness...

You may think this is kind of sad, but come on, it never happened to you to be in love for a time, and then just forget it all and never to be able to feel that again? It never happened to feel the logical arguments how they enter your mind and soul? You never felt you're above all, you can't be misled anymore, you can't be in love because you are at a higher level. And this level is empty. 

There are rare cases when the heart listens to the brain, but when it does, it means no one that you know is good enough for your soul. No one can keep you entertained and still be themselves around you. Maybe the world bores you today, and no one can make the feeling go away. Maybe it was just one love that you wish you had. And now that you're over it, there is no such thing to make you feel again.

You aren't numb. You can laugh, be whoever you want to be, but you aren't able to give attention, at least for a long period of time to someone. I don't know if they deserve it or not, but as long as you don't want them what does it matter anyway?

God, it's so good to be free, and so damn scary not to love anyone! But you won't give up this condition soon because freedom was all you wanted... was all they wanted... now you have it. Enjoy! ^_^

Voices in your head

They have some great ideas no matter if you choose or not to listen to the voices... It's not the first time you hear this and definitely not the last.

Sometimes they tell you to forget about consequences, to live for your dream, to do crazy things for your crush, to simply be happy or they tell you to kill yourself, to stand up to the worst expectations. 

No matter the massage, the voices always say interesting things. Sometimes they see right through the lies of all the people you believe in. Sometimes, they tend to be too melodramatic There are days when they scream  to get your attention and days when you smile for no reason to be sure the world didn't hear them. Sometimes they represent the truth in your heart, sometimes they lie even to you to protect you.

Some people say: "You can lie to everyone, but yourself." - well this is a lie too. You can lie to yourself. You are trying to make a more beautiful day by saying how good things work in your life, and for a few hours if you get lucky, you actually believe this. But, at night, when you're alone you wake up from the lies. No one needs to convince you for something, but if the voices say: "fight for your dream" you better do something now that you have help. The best part of all is that is coming from the inside and may keep you going on, but you need to have some faith in your voices.

As long as they're funny and they keep you interested in a subject (usually it's one that you want to avoid but that's life) you should do something, not just sit back and listen to the voices or complain about them. And I remember how they push me when I like someone: "come on, do something... say hi, say out loud his name, say a joke, come on" and I remember how hard I try to ignore them :)) and the more I ignored them the louder they would speak, so today I'm just accepting everything. Finally, they shut up for a while. I guess they don't have anything to say for now, but I'm not going to make a big fuss about this because they can start talking any minute...

The last visit...

Ok, I have been again at that house. I know for sure there is something, I found out the story from someone. It's a horror story of course... and the house not only that's haunted but I found out that's cursed too. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want anymore.


It didn't happen something bad... just one thing that shocked us all. The front porch was open. It had a lock that was unlocked and no one came or left from there... and after we visited the house, some time later, after I also left my cousin's house the door was again locked.


It wanted us to go there. It didn't want us to jump the fence... we were their guests and they treated us well. I'm not disappointed in anything I did, but these are the last words. I'm not ever writing about that house. Its somebody else's story there and I don't have the right to tell like it would be my story. My only story is that I have been to a haunted house, and it was fun, scary and again fun, but where things get complicated I better back off. I'm leaving things like this. They deserve their privacy and I deserve mine. 


I wanted to share my experience... now it's over. Forever, or, until next year when I'll visit my cousin again *evil laugh*.

The last person on earth

Today it rained a lot. Rain reminds me of sad days. The sky was so dark, unclear and the wind whispering rain drops felt like it was almost hitting me. And I wanted to stay outside in the wet weather and feel the cold water. But I didn't do it. I always liked rain and at the same time I hated it. Strange feelings came in my mind.

I am wandering in this world now, and it's only me. Yes, I'm the only person left of this planet! Have you ever thought of that? Never crossed my mind, just hundreds of times! What I would do first? I would try to contact anyone. See if that's actually true. I'll open my computer and I will log on in every possible site that I know of and try to find someone. If I don't get an answer, I'll run in the streets and scream "Can anybody hear me?". But nobody will hear me after all. Then, I'll go to friends' houses, and see if they are there, but of course, they won't be.

Am I going insane? No, I'm just alone. I can do whatever I want. I can visit every country. I can own thousand cars, houses, hotels, cities, everything now is mine. I can even eat free whatever and whenever I want. Isn't now boring? No, not at all. But I'm still thinking about finding someone else. But what if I won't like that "someone"? Maybe for the moment, it's better not to find anyone at all.

I keep wandering the streets, eating ice-cream, running free and I am heading to the pet-shop! How come I didn't think of this before? I want a dog to accompany me in this journey. I don't want to be alone!

P.S. Did you ever think of being the last person in this world? Wouldn't it be fun? At least until you get insane :)