Words are beyond

 

You know when you have that feeling that you have to do something really big. When the moment calls you and only you. I may confuse you right now, but you have to admit there are so many great moments there when words are beyond understanding. They are so unnecessary that by talking you are ruining your own dream. 

It happens sometimes to find happiness. And it happens then to find difficulty. But "in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity" (Albert Einstein); I know he's a physician and mathematician and you probably hate both subjects, but he was right. When you are alone and sad you wake up in the morning you never expected and receive a big opportunity. There are various situations which differ and I'm sure most of you say I'm not right, but someday you will see what I see almost everyday: light besides the shadows.

Words are necessary though and when discovering a person they are beyond everything else. Sometimes one word explains it all: the love, the pain, the suffering, the rain, the sun, the happiness, the lies, the truth, the sacrifices, the cowardliness... And I put your words before everything else. It's a difficult task, but I suppose you are ready for it.

Hugs

 

Sooo... I've been hugging my kitchen's doors and fridge for a long time now. I'm a totally fridge huger! Well, it gets in my way. I'm the one walking straight here! Show some respect fridge and doors!

Ok, I know this has been tough for everyone, but a little hug/crash into objects can do good. I mean it! Don't need to laugh, but you see it's like talking to a friend and hugging him. You hug your friends, right? So why not hug the fridge, that provides food, which is super important? Why not hug the doors that feel alone when you're not eating in the kitchen... I'm joking here, by the way.

The point is, don't hug things or if you do, don't brag about it like I'm doing here. It's just that it has been a long time since I haven't been writing on the blog, and I have some stuff to tell, but I don't know how. When I'm away from the computer I have these amazing ideas and when I finally get home, I forget how I want to say them...

Well, tough or not, I'll try to stop hugging things. At least I'll pretend to? ^_^ Ok, you can't tell me this never happened to you by accident! 

The ones who don't love

"Without you there is no beauty."

Lie!

The worst feeling that one can get is to believe he/she is happy without his last love or any love, but I said
last" because well you've just forgotten it, whichever that is.. And I say "worst thing" because having such power at hand means never falling in love again. And not because you're hurt, but because you realize you're better off without anyone by your side. Of course, you have a gf/bf for a time, but you'll never love her/him, you finally have the world at your feet and that is devastating, my friend.

Power is the biggest challenge of all. You can't control it. You can't run from it. You like it too much already. And this feeling will make you feel as empty as an abyss. You have this power, but there is no one with whom you can share it. And what is a kingdom without its queen and king together? Emptiness...

You may think this is kind of sad, but come on, it never happened to you to be in love for a time, and then just forget it all and never to be able to feel that again? It never happened to feel the logical arguments how they enter your mind and soul? You never felt you're above all, you can't be misled anymore, you can't be in love because you are at a higher level. And this level is empty. 

There are rare cases when the heart listens to the brain, but when it does, it means no one that you know is good enough for your soul. No one can keep you entertained and still be themselves around you. Maybe the world bores you today, and no one can make the feeling go away. Maybe it was just one love that you wish you had. And now that you're over it, there is no such thing to make you feel again.

You aren't numb. You can laugh, be whoever you want to be, but you aren't able to give attention, at least for a long period of time to someone. I don't know if they deserve it or not, but as long as you don't want them what does it matter anyway?

God, it's so good to be free, and so damn scary not to love anyone! But you won't give up this condition soon because freedom was all you wanted... was all they wanted... now you have it. Enjoy! ^_^

TWWY: Life

I think this is the last part of TWWY(The War With Yourself). About life in general, there are a lot of things to talk about. I don't know if you're in the mood of reading all these crazy ideas that we all know surround us. 

situation "A": Your parents control your life. If that's the case, you kind of have a problem. But, usually in this situation there are certain advantages that other don't have: maybe they don't let you go out much but they buy you a cool audio system (for example) or something similar. Maybe they let you call your friends at home a lot. My advice is to find an advantage and take the credit for it. 

situation "B": You feel like you don't have any real friends. Well, then you have a serious problem. It's hard to know there isn't anyone to give you a friendly hug, a person with whom you can be sincere but I'm sure you know better than me what's it like. Good people are all over the world, even if you don't believe me. You can find a friend from another country, you can share all the secrets without the fear that he'll tell, but one day this won't be enough. Time to get out in the world, alone, and search for a sincere person who would like to spend time with you. It's going to be a long ride, because friendship doesn't form in a few days or weeks, sometimes it takes only a few months, sometimes it needs years. If you're part of a group (even at work) it's good to see if you can have a special connection with someone around there, because it's good to share most of your time with a friend with whom you have the same interests. I could talk all day about friendship, but if this part of your life is missing you better do something now, because later you'll regret. Oh, and you can keep your fake friends too, they're good when you are bored at home and don't have anyone to go out with.

situation "C": A lot of things are happening in your life. You're an over-dramatic person or you don't have a choice but to be one. You make a scandal even out of your smallest problem. Make a list of the things that are ok in your life, and the ones that are not, and change anything you like slowly, without telling everyone a thousand times a day what is happening or what happened. I'm talking here about the people who want to change this lifestyle. And, if you have a life like in Gossip Girl, then, my sincerest congratulations, because you have an interesting life that's filled with a lot of events, and people and friends, and love and everything you wish for or not. If you're like this crazy girl/boy with a lot of popularity and you think you got bored of it, trust me, you're not yet. It takes a lot to imagine the perfect life in the perfect conditions without getting bored, but the hardest part is to actually live it. So, even if you're exaggerating things what matters if you're living them.

That's the problem with people: they don't know when to stop dreaming and start living. So, no matter who you are, what you think you are, live for the dream! And trust me, when you want something there is nothing that can stop you, but your own personality and thoughts. So, if you want to blame someone, the only "criminal" is you.

There is a quote from Dollhouse, a very interesting TV series that says: "She's living the dream." "Whose dream?" "Who's next." Make sure you're living your dream and not anyone's else.

TVD - Chapter 3 - Part 1

Even if you don’t believe it, the journey of our favorite “almost couple” didn’t had any hot scenes, because Elena kept her head on the ground and as they were closing to Bridgeport she kept thinking about Stefan and only Stefan.

“Have you thought what are you going to tell him when we get there?” Damon asked.

“Yes. I want to know how things stand.”

“And how do you think they stand, Elena?”

“I don’t know. That’s why we’re finding him. I need answers.”

“You said you need me.”

“You know Damon what I meant then.”

“I don’t know. Tell me, Elena, what did you mean?”

“I meant that you’re my friend and that I really needed you on this journey and I’m grateful, Damon, for what you did for me.”

“What I did? I killed Jeremy, I killed Vicky, I hurt Bonnie in the past. What I did for you, Elena?”

“You sacrificed yourself for me. Like a few days ago… like when I and…”

“Stefan are together?” Damon continued. “Why do you believe I should sacrifice myself then when you have Stefan by your side?”

“Damon, you know what I mean. This journey must be hard for you.”

“Actually I’m enjoying it. After all, I am alone with you.” He smiled one of his killer smiles.

After a while he had to stop the car. In front of them was a figure.  Elena didn’t even think about it. She came out of the car without thinking and she hugged the man. Damon was shouting that she should be careful, but he knew too. They knew the man who appeared from nowhere was Stefan.

“Stefan, my love! I’ve missed you so much!” Elena cried.

He remained still, he didn’t hugged her back, he just stared in front. He stared at the car, or who knows if he actually was seeing something.

“Stefan? Talk to me, Stefan!”

“You and Damon should head back to Mystic Falls. You have nothing to do here, for the moment.” Stefan said harshly.

“And why we should do that?” Damon asked before Elena could say something.

“Because these lands are dangerous.”

“And you’ll let Elena get hurt?”

“Never! That’s why I’m telling you to leave. Now everything’s changed.”

“Stefan, why don’t you look at me?” Elena asked through the tears.

He just smiled and looked at Damon and made a sign with his hand that Damon should leave with Elena.

“Do you trust me little brother?”

“With what?”

“To be alone with her? You know, if you’re out of the picture I might actually do things.”

“Do whatever you want.” Stefan said. “But don’t touch Elena!”

“So you still care. Why don’t you return?”

“Damon, things got complicated. You should be happy. We don’t owe each other anything anymore.”

“C’mon Stefan. We’re not talking about us. We’re talking about Elena, here. Don’t you have anything to say about it?”

“No.” Stefan said calmly.

“Stefan what’s happening? You know you can trust me.” Elena said.

“Not much. I’m bad now as you can see. Oh, and I enjoy it.”

“Have you killed anyone?”

“Yes, Elena. I have. What’s that look on your face, Damon? Didn’t you wanted me to come to the dark side? Now, we’re brothers. You can be proud.”

“Elena, I think we should go.” Damon said.

“I’m not going anywhere! Can’t you see what they’ve done to him?”

“I think they done a beautiful job. Now I can embrace my nature. Finally.”

“Stefan, you talk like the old Damon, just a little exaggerated. We know it’s not you who’s talking.”

“Then who is it? Me?” Klaus asked coming from behind Stefan.

“You could’ve compelled him.” Damon said.

“And where would all the fun remain?” Klaus laughed. “Think whatever you want, but Stefan is free like a bird.”

“In a cage?” Damon challenged him.

“That’s why you end up dying, Damon. Even if you’re his older brother, Stefan is smarter than you. He doesn’t say stupid things that are crossing his mind.”

“Leave, Elena.” Stefan said.

TVD - Chapter 2 - Part 3

Here is the last part of Chapter 2. Enjoy!

“Because you’re dangerous and… stupid and… thoughtless. That’s why!”

“But Elena loves danger. Don’t you, Elena?”

“I want to find Stefan and the only thing that I’m asking of you is to trust me.”

“No, Elena. I’m glad we’ve found you and either you’re going home with us, either you’ll take me with you.” Bonnie demanded.

“Or me.” Said Caroline and then smiled at Bonnie.

“No. You’re a vampire too Caroline, and sometimes you can be on Damon’s side.”

“Oh, come on, Bonnie.”

“I’m going alone with Damon. And that’s my last decision.” Elena said.

“I don’t agree with it and you know why. You can trust Damon that much. You saw what happened today.”

“Bonnie, I need to be on my own. What happened today it’s not going to happen again and if it does we’ll be prepared and we’ll find a way to escape.”

“Ok, if you’re so sure. But at least let us accompany you until the next city and if nothing happens we’ll go home.” Bonnie said.

“Ok, Bonnie. Thank you!” Elena hugged her and Caroline.

Back in Mystic Falls Jeremy was at the local bar. He was meeting with Tyler.

“Anna?” She was in front of him. “Are you for real?”

“You loved her!” Anna was pointing behind Jeremy to Vicky.

“Vicky?” He asked.

“You wanted me to die. You loved her more!”

“No, Anna, you know that’s not true. I wanted to work things out between us. And I never wanted you to die.”

“Yeah, sure!”

Anna pushed him and he fell to the ground. He wanted to ask them something but then the girls disappeared.

“Jeremy, are you ok?” Tyler asked. “Did you eat something?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I have a headache. Nothing more.”

“It looked to me like you were talking to someone.”

“No. I was just complaining that my head hurts. That’s all.”

“If you say so.”

Jeremy turned back to see if Vicky and Anna were still there and he could see that the girls were at the door and they were watching him with angry looks. He felt a chill going down his spine.

“What are you looking at?” Tyler asked.

“Nothing. Let’s go to the table.”

Back to where Damon, Elena, Bonnie and Caroline were, they got closer to Stefan. They were in the next town called Kernville and it was time for Bonnie and Caroline to leave. Thy have to go back home and let Elena and Damon travel alone again.

“I don’t want to just leave you here.” Bonnie cried.

“Don’t worry. Bonnie, I’ll be fine.” Elena said to her.

“She’s in my care now.” Damon told them.

“You better take care of her.” Caroline looked straight to Damon.

“Don’t worry. Nothing bad is going to happen.”

“Yeah, I’m sure of that.” Bonnie said.

“Please, Bonnie, Caroline, just have a little trust in him.”

“Fine.” Bonnie said and then she and Caroline left for Mystic Falls.

“Now were alone again.”

“Damon don’t act like something’s changed.”

“But of course everything changes.”

“And why is that?” Elena asked.

“Because we are alone.”

“Damon, what are you planning?”

He smiled a short killer smile and got closer to her so that he can see every detail of her face.

“I know you love danger, Elena.” He said.

“I love Stefan.”

“And danger too. My middle name is <<danger>>.”

“Damon, please stop with it.”

“No, I won’t because in your heart you know you want me.”

“That’s a serious accusation to make.”

“I already made it. What are you going to do about it, Elena?”

“Damon, it’s my life.”

“And you chose to live it with me for a while. Tell me the truth, why did you wanted to travel alone with me, Elena? Tell me why.”

“Because… I need you.”

“You need me for what?”

“Damon…”

“Is it that I have entered somehow in your heart?”

“You are always in my heart. I need you because you’re my friend, Damon.”

“That’s bullshit! Lie to yourself Elena, but you can’t lie to me anymore. Lie to Stefan, lie to whoever you want!”

“Damon, please. You know I don’t love you more than a friend.”

“Oh, I think you do.”

He approached his face to hers. His lips were 4 centimeters away from hers.

 “Push me away now, Elena. Do it. Prove me wrong.”

But Elena didn’t push him away. Instead she gave him a kiss on the cheek and then she said.

“It’s time to leave. We have to continue our journey.”

Damon knew that she avoided Stefan’s name purposely.

“Why?”

“What Damon?”

“Why didn’t you say his name?”

“What?”

“Forget it, Elena. Forget it.”

If Stefan was bad now maybe he didn’t deserve Elena either. Maybe Damon deserved her more than his brother did. Maybe now was his chance. But he’ll go easy, he’ll go slowly. “I don’t want her to suffer.” He told himself. But that was inevitable anyway. If that’s the case, then he’ll be her shield, her warrior, her hope, her tear, her everything.

TVD Chapter 1 - Part 1

Maybe you don't know but I love The Vampire Diaries. I can't wait till season 3 so I decided to write a fanfic about what will happen after the last episode "As I lie dying" from season 2.


Here is a part of chapter 1:

Damon drank the blood brought by Katherine. In her heart, Elena was glad that Damon won't die, but her first worry was Stefan. She had to ask what happened with him. Katherine's answer wasn't actually an expected one.

"Stefan gave himself over to Klaus. He did it to save his own brother, and you Elena. But now you have Damon to keep you company. It's ok to love them both. I did."

Elena stood still in the room with Damon, who got better and got up from bed.

"Elena, I'm sorry... I'll do anything to find Stefan. I promise you", said the vampire and held her in his arms.

Elena didn't argue and she stood like unaware of the reality around her. Jenna had died, that couldn't believe it either. Alaric was undone, Jeremy became more distant, almost like tired of everything that had happened. Damon had promised her that he'll find Stefan and he will bring him back. Elena knew that Damon never crossed his word. And she knew that he loved her... how much; only Damon could tell...

"Jeremy, are you ok?" Elena asked.

"Yes, Elena, just leave me alone."

"Jeremy we have to be more united now that..."

A terrible silence came between them.

"I'll be fine" finally said Jeremy.

Tyler and Caroline had met after a few days.

"You'll stick in town for a while?"

"Yes. Caroline... does Matt know that you're a vampire?"

"Yes."

"And how did it take it?"

"Bad. He said he can't see me like always. He tried, but... well my mom is making a big progress."

"I'm glad to hear some good news" said Tyler.

"I'm so sorry for Elena's aunt."

"I know." Tyler hugged her.

Elena wouldn’t go out much these days. But her friends, Bonnie and Caroline came over a few times. Bonnie tried to cheer her up by casting a funny spell. She made an apple say “hello” to them. Caroline felt a little awkward, but Elena eventually smiled. Suddenly, the bell rang. Elena went down to answer the door. Behind the doorway a tall dark man stood. His hair was darker than Stefan’s, but he reminded Elena of Stefan anyway. He had blue eyes like the ocean that looked straight into her brown eyes.

“Hi, Elena. Can I come in?”

“Sure, Damon. Please, come in.”

“Look who’s here.” Damon said looking at Bonnie and smiling.

“If I were you I would be careful on which tone should I speak.” Bonnie said.

“Ouch, that almost sounded like a threat.” The vampire replied.

“Whatever.” Bonnie said.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for a fight right now.” Caroline said. “Bonnie, I think we should go home.”

“Fine, but only if Elena prefers it that way.” Bonnie replied.

“It’s ok. You can go home. I’ll be safe.”

“Ok.” Bonnie said looking in Damon’s eyes with an angry look.

“Bye.” Damon said waving at the girls. “Finally the witch is gone.”

“Damon!” Elena shouted.

“Sorry. You know that I don’t like her.”

“You have something to tell me.”

“Yes, Elena, listen… I know this is going to be a little painful, but I think you have to know this.”

“Damon, just get to the point.”

“Fine. Stefan killed an innocent young woman. She was a blonde, brought by Klaus, especially for Stefan to kill her and also to enjoy his prey.”

The last person on earth

Today it rained a lot. Rain reminds me of sad days. The sky was so dark, unclear and the wind whispering rain drops felt like it was almost hitting me. And I wanted to stay outside in the wet weather and feel the cold water. But I didn't do it. I always liked rain and at the same time I hated it. Strange feelings came in my mind.

I am wandering in this world now, and it's only me. Yes, I'm the only person left of this planet! Have you ever thought of that? Never crossed my mind, just hundreds of times! What I would do first? I would try to contact anyone. See if that's actually true. I'll open my computer and I will log on in every possible site that I know of and try to find someone. If I don't get an answer, I'll run in the streets and scream "Can anybody hear me?". But nobody will hear me after all. Then, I'll go to friends' houses, and see if they are there, but of course, they won't be.

Am I going insane? No, I'm just alone. I can do whatever I want. I can visit every country. I can own thousand cars, houses, hotels, cities, everything now is mine. I can even eat free whatever and whenever I want. Isn't now boring? No, not at all. But I'm still thinking about finding someone else. But what if I won't like that "someone"? Maybe for the moment, it's better not to find anyone at all.

I keep wandering the streets, eating ice-cream, running free and I am heading to the pet-shop! How come I didn't think of this before? I want a dog to accompany me in this journey. I don't want to be alone!

P.S. Did you ever think of being the last person in this world? Wouldn't it be fun? At least until you get insane :)