Words are beyond

 

You know when you have that feeling that you have to do something really big. When the moment calls you and only you. I may confuse you right now, but you have to admit there are so many great moments there when words are beyond understanding. They are so unnecessary that by talking you are ruining your own dream. 

It happens sometimes to find happiness. And it happens then to find difficulty. But "in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity" (Albert Einstein); I know he's a physician and mathematician and you probably hate both subjects, but he was right. When you are alone and sad you wake up in the morning you never expected and receive a big opportunity. There are various situations which differ and I'm sure most of you say I'm not right, but someday you will see what I see almost everyday: light besides the shadows.

Words are necessary though and when discovering a person they are beyond everything else. Sometimes one word explains it all: the love, the pain, the suffering, the rain, the sun, the happiness, the lies, the truth, the sacrifices, the cowardliness... And I put your words before everything else. It's a difficult task, but I suppose you are ready for it.

Come back

Writing has been all I had since the moment I grew up enough to know the world that I was living in. I have abandoned this blog, not because I hadn't visitors, but because I never felt the connection with them. What has made me come back is actually a dream, a dream I had a long time ago and I want to live it, finally.

Some time will pass until I will accomplish my dream, but I will because I have put all my thoughts into it and I'm going to continue to do so.

Blogs are personal, and here you are going to find advice, sadness, happiness and the thoughts that I wanted to share with the world. I started this thinking I could make the world a better place, but then I let darker emotions drag me out from my previous goal. I will take care of this blog and whomever is reading and has come back to see the news: welcome back. 

This time I promise I will not leave for so many months because I have a lot on my mind to share with you and I will continue to do so.

I'll miss you, Summer

Summer ended today, maybe. For many of us it ended yesterday, but for me I'm not sure yet. It didn't feel like autumn. And it's not going to feel no matter if my hands and feet are cold at night, or if at eight o'clock gets dark. In my mind summer it's still going to be there just for another month.

Of course I didn't get to do everything I planned, but at least I'm free now. I can do whatever I want. It's not like I have something in mind, actually I gave up some of my plans. Not worth it :)) I guess we all find ourselves in the position to realize something's not worth fighting for. 

I didn't get a chance to say hello to summer properly, and I'm not sure if I want to say goodbye. I read somewhere (actually on facebook) that the worst thing is to get a glimpse of chance just to realize you're fooling yourself. I disagree. When chasing a dream, no matter if you achieve it, if you can fight even a little, even for nothing it's worth it. Yeah, maybe some things are better off where they are, but until you try you never know what's best. 

Things happen for a reason - no. It's just time that passes fast and some situations that connect, the rest is as special or mundane as you let it be. If you want to learn something from it, it's your decision. Of course, we often choose to forget, to let go...

I try not to believe in destiny, because it doesn't always go the way you want it, and if you're convinced something should happen and it doesn't, you might fall of track.

Guilty

I've been asking around "why do I have to be guilty for his/her actions?", "why do I need to take the blame for his/her incapability of moving on?" The best part is that I discovered I don't.

Everyone is responsible for their actions. You are what you think. So, if your happiness is another person, and that person refuses to take that role, you have no right to blame her for your unhappiness. You have the right to say what you like, what you don't want but without stepping on someone else's free will. I thought that I was guilty for their actions. I thought I was guilty for leaving from their lives. I thought I was guilty for ending the story. But no! They are the only ones to blame for all the stubbornness in their head, for not fighting. They all say they love life, but they don't do anything to make things better.

Until tonight I've waited for their demons to come straight at my door and tell me face to face that I'm some kind of monster. This never happened of course, because I'm just a human, and I left like everyone does, and in their hearts they know it's not my fault sincerity and trust were mislead.

It's your choice to let someone into your life, your choice to get over some tragedy, your choice to make friends, to let them down, to confess your love, to shut down your feelings and so on. Your choice to blame someone else for your own faults, to feel guilty for something or to pretend you forgot.

So, beginning with tonight, I am not guilty for your depressions, for your choices, for your "never do anything and go with the flow". I hope you won't drown too much in your own heart, and I hope I won't be there if that happens, because my mood of "I care" might want to jump and save you.

Ever met happiness?

 

Sadly, there are people who don't know how to live. They don't appreciate the little things in their lives, they don't understand the essence of happiness. Dreams are the most beautiful things on earth. And a dream that comes to life it's pure paradise.

I invite you to enjoy the deepest joy in your heart. Don't ask me to tell you what could that be, because you're the only one who truly knows. Reach for your dreams like you would've already achieved them. It's so simple to be happy. Why refuse the best offer that the world has for you? And don't say that now things aren't going so smoothly, because this is just the beginning of the changes that are going to happen. You feel at your best when you reach the light at the end of the tunnel, but why not see the light now? Why don't you look in front of you and see the good things that await to be taken. 

Life it's easy if you believe it. Life has a lot to offer and we are only a part of it. Imagine how it feels when it's complete. Take a little time for yourself and imagine perfection. How good does it feel perfection(the way you understand it)? Don't think that you don't deserve it. You deserve the best, trust me, but only if you want it. 

If you haven't seen it, I recommend you the movie "The Secret". It's a documentary about positive thinking, and not just that, it's the explanation of why people are successful and how good things come into our lives. Of course, you have to make a little effort to think about the things that you like, that's the key, to concentrate on what you want, not on what you hate.

Perfection

First of all, happy Easter to all, wherever you're from!




What if I ever tell you I discovered perfection? Would you believe me? Would you say it's just another beautiful lie? But what if I had proof? What if I were to say that your life is perfect?

Today is raining and you wanted to go out with your friends. Another lost day, you may think. But, you really want to feel the wind and the outside world. You get the umbrella and go with your best friend. The rain stops slowly and you're so happy. You begin to take pictures of the kind of sad nature and you feel so filled with life! Convinced the sun will rise once again, you take a long walk with your friend. After a half an hour suddenly begins to rain heavily. Your umbrella doesn't serve you anymore, and you're like *poker face*. Your friend starts laughing as the rain pours from the sky like a mad river and you both start running back home and you think in your mind: another wonderful day. Yes, I agree, this is perfection.

Today you need to go to school. You have no interest in that. It was hard to wake up early in the morning and you're almost sleeping at your first class. A random person sends you a random message telling you that he hid the body and what should he do now. You know this joke for quite a time and it just bores you more. You decide yet to reply and you tell this person that the plan is perfect and he can go home and rest, considering the fact you can't. Oh, such pessimism! Finally, the bell rings and you're happy to relax a bit. You decide to go out with your friends, but when you're on the hall you trip over some old books and you fall. Everyone starts laughing and you're like *Oh, no! God, tell me this didn't happen*. And as you are in your agony, your crush comes and gives you a hand. He/She is laughing too, of course, but in a sweet way that makes you blush and feel even more embarrassed. But, the whole day is enlightened by his/her touch. And even you find the courage to get out from the classroom. Hey, stranger, this was a perfect day!

This is kind of personal. Today, like in the most past days you're obsessed with your favorite band. They will soon release a new album and you simply can't wait. You begin to make a collage with their pictures which kind of takes you more than an hour. You listen to their old songs, to the ones that captivated you from the start, to the ones that didn't, you begin to like things you didn't like about them. You decide you don't have enough pictures so you start searching. Suddenly an idea gets you and you discover the songs of their album earlier!!!! You're like *Brb. I'm going to faint....... Ok, I'm good now*. This was one of my perfect days. I hope it will be yours too, when you find something you really fancy.

P.S.  As you may have listened to the song, and actually heard the lyrics, you should now that you don't need to be saved by nobody. You have enough power to overcome a lot of things. I'm not saying don't ask for help, but don't expect anyone to go through your problems in your place. You are powerful enough to do that on your own. And if someone disappoints you, don't expect them to come back. Even if they do, they probably don't deserve your forgiveness. (I'm talking here about extreme cases, so please don't over-think this.) And if you disappoint, and you want to be saved, remember that you need first to stand up on your own to make the other person see that you actually improved and are ready for a new chapter. I won't say more, because I'm entering in another territory.

Wish you a perfect day, in the way that you understand perfection!

Darkness within

I think I discovered darkness. It has no face, but desire. It has no language at all, it's all in the deepest of your heart. It's no use to say "no", it's no use to say "yes" it simply stands there before you and it has no conscience. 


Darkness has no color, no end, no beginning. It doesn't embrace you, though. You embrace it with all your soul. You can chose this path, you can fool yourself it's not you who's deciding, but then, wouldn't you be a little childish? If it's not you who's making decision. who is then? Don't tell me it's God nor the Devil. Don't tell me it's your friend.


This darkness brings happiness and it fills your heart. I'm sure anyone experienced this at least one time in their lives. I guess it took me long enough to realize it's about dark, it took me long to figure it out I was the one who made the choices. It's like I would listen to my dark angel, not the one sent by God. And I want to let you know he doesn't want me to fail, he wants to see me up high with my dreams fulfilled. You may say I'm crazy, you may say I'm a satanist, but you know it's not true. You've experienced this before, even if not at the same intensity.


As I was saying, I discovered darkness, but I don't wish people to suffer. At least not all the people :) 






Happy Holidays!

The ugly truth

I'll tell you a story that I've written. Not all of it of course. There were once two vampires and they were seeking for love. Each one found a girl. The girls were not perfect, but they got along with mistakes, with joy until one day. The second vampire finds out that his love was cheating on him. She had a lover that was her actual boyfriend that lived abroad. He gets mad and kills them both. That's not called love. The first vampire thinks he's in love and gets killed by the girl that he once helped.


What I want to point out is that they didn't love each other. Their love was just casual dates with some feelings, but nothing special, nothing to last. I wanted to create a love story, but I couldn't because their relationships were too simple. I needed complicated stories and fights for this "true love" that they were so madly seeking. Later, they discover a lot of interesting things about life and that's why the story goes on. And I always keep their love life at a miserable level, so they'll never get boring.


Let me give you an example, so you would understand better. In Vampire Diaries most fans love Damon and Elena's story, but if Damon was Stefan, they would've died to see Stefan and Elena. We like to have things we can't. We say we like simple things, but we love to stay awake at night and think about our stupid complicated lives. We need to be entertained or we lose the interest. As long as Damon and Elena won't be together they'll remain the main subject, but now that Stefan can't be with Elena too, fans are changing sides, because let's face it we love the bad Stefan. 


So the ugly truth is that we can't be happy just by feeling it. We need action and drama.