I can change destinies. I can be God. I can answer all their questions, I can be the Devil, I can be everything and nothing at the same time. That's what does a writer. That feeling, that power is amazing. Too sad in real life doesn't go like that. Too bad I'm just a character in the play of life. Having no control sometimes is hard.
Stories always helped me go on, because I would write about something exciting, impossible and yet a solution out of everything comes at the end of the story. It's hard to deal with reality, but combined with imagination and dreaming you get a great mix. There was this night when I thought I knew everything. I have been having questions for a long time, too many questions I'd say... and suddenly I got all the answers I needed. I was God for a few hours.
I said then that dreams are really coming true when the stars light the sky. The detail that I missed was that the stars that we see are already dead. So, what we see on the big sky at night are just some colored dead space material. So are dreams sometimes; dead for a long time... It's us that refuse to see it, it's me that says things are better later than never. And maybe they are, or I just saw another star...
Outside it's a lovely evening. The sun is long gone and I am losing myself in time. Memories flash back like an old movie. And some of them are not even memories at all, are my dreams.
I am waiting for summer impatiently and this night especially, and the music in my ears reminds me of freedom. Those moments when you can run, when you can hide, when you're laughing, and it doesn't matter if only one friend is beside you, it matters that you are the world. I am the world!
No matter how much you've cried, how much you've lost, you are free now! The whole world kneels before your eyes. It's one of those nights when you are happy no matter what lies ahead. The universe is looking at you with joy, and the stars are slowly appearing on the dark blue sky. Freedom is not yours. You are freedom!
No one can understand your euphoria, no one can win against your laughter, and start to imagine who knows what reason why are you like this. Only if they knew... only if they knew that you have no reason at all! It's just you escaping from reality, from this everyday nightmare. Now, you're living your own version of life.
There is no more wrong or right in the world, there is no more suffering, just art, music and beautiful meaningless words. Beside this euphoria side of yours, there is something that bothers you, but for now you have buried it deep inside. Don't let it come to light, not now that the night has just begun.
