TWWY: Love

Remember what I said about The War With Yourself=TWWY? Well, last time I kind of given you some theories. They work, but you may want to know about the problems you'll face.

The fact that you need to change some habits it's not so easy. I recommended an social life so you don't fall on depression. But eventually you will anyway. Then you'll read the other post, and you won't find any advice from it anymore. Everything will be superficial. Well, I told you is not going to be a smooth road. You need to set a goal, but if you're not sure what you should do, what's the best decision, well, then, things are getting complicated. It's dangerous to let life choose. Sometimes it works, but just going with the flow may not lead you to the best place.

Let's take some specific examples: love. Read this only if you have problems. And if you don't know me, because if you do, I don't what you to take anything personal... Whatever.


situation "A":You're in love with someone and you can't forget him/her (I'll just use him from now on, because it's kind of weird to put both every time, but you imagine your specific case). Think that if this love is poisoning, you need to respect yourself. You need to understand that there are billions of people, and there isn't just one right for you; there are many. And you can meet them all, you can be stuck on choosing, but remember: you always have a choice, always. But I'm afraid that 90% of them depend on you. And if you like: oh, I'll never forget him because he was so perfect... etc. Then, why did he leave? Why did he do that and that if he's perfect? Same thing goes for yourself. If you're not perfect, why would you crave for that person? I'm not trying to say that you're less than someone, I'm trying to make you understand that if you want a change in your life, you need to make different things. You can't expect an improvement in your love life, if you're just taking the same decisions. You can't begin something if you just say you will.

situation "B": You like many persons, and you don't know whom to choose from. My advice, a hypocrite one (if you still consider yourself a totally sincere person), would be to choose them all. Not at once, of course, but this life is filled with different roads, and if you can try as many as you can, why not? Yeah, you may suffer and all, but no matter what you choose you'll suffer eventually. Tell me if I'm wrong. But, if you want just one of them, you should look in your heart and see who you love the most. If every one of them looks right, you should investigate better: one of three apples is definitely rotten. Maybe I'm wrong with the apples, but with people never. You know you chose right when you're fully happy, when you don't care about other things, when you're ready to face the problems that will come (at least at the beginning). You can make a list of the qualities and flaws of each person, but you know no matter if one has many qualities than the others, what is important is how you feel with a certain person. The right choice may be wrong for others, so I'm afraid friends can't help much. I was advised by friends, and they wished me the best, but what mattered was in my heart, not in theirs. That's why when you ask someone what he things about your problem, they'll always tell you their choices, not yours, or they'll just tell you to choose by yourself. Good luck. Even if the road isn't easy, you usually figure it out anyway. So, don't worry too much.

situation "C": You don't have anyone in your life. If you're down on yourself, let me tell you without any resentment: you're a fool. Remember how ugly people have a cool guy/girl as a boyfriend/girlfriend? Well, these ugly persons don't feel ugly at all. And they don't send to the opposite sex that they're ugly. On the contrary I'd say. Everyone is special in their own way. You probably heard this like a million times, but I'm sure you have moments when you look in the mirror and you love yourself way too much. Or you see others who are full of themselves and you hate them. But did you stop to ask yourself if you hate them because they don't care much about others, or because they have confidence and they walk in a room knowing what they value? Yeah, they may exaggerate a little (more), but they let opportunities come to them because they think they deserve it. You should think the same. As you may have noticed, in this situation I talked about you, not the other mysterious person. That's because you are the problem here. To be more specific, your attitude. You may think: who is this person who dares to tell me what to think? But, I'm not here to do that. It's your choice if you want to change something or not. If you like the results until now, then that's perfect. If not, you should do something. May not feel right at first, but "something" is always better than "nothing". 

P.S. Wicked or not, it's still love^_^ What is yours counts. What you want to be yours must be clear in your mind.