I know it's kind of old, but I love this song. It reminds me of things that are ending or already ended, of things that I need to run from or other that I want to run to...
It reminds me of all the people that I want to kick out of my life and of all the trouble that we go to make new friends, to keep friendships and to end them.
And last, but not least it reminds me of those love stories that you want to run from. Someone that you loved, but disappointed you and you want them out of your life.
I guess sometimes things happen, and not necessarily happy things... I don't love you like I did yesterday... And maybe as we forget to love life, friends, family, a lover, life also forgets to embrace us with joy.
There was I time I tried to put a smile on my face nonstop, but finally my wall is down. One cannot pretend for the rest of his life. I am not made of steel. I don't regret what happened, I regret what didn't happen, I regret the opportunities I had to save people... to save me. I regret I lost a friend. I regret I lost maybe more... Lovers come and go, but friends are made to be there forever. Looks like not anymore...
Both words with capital letters, because it's a common problem these days. People falling in love for a day or two, having a short relationship and then they feel like they should move on.
To begin a relationship is hard. You over-think about the first "I love you", sometimes the other person says it too early and you're like "I only love myself", you're afraid you'll get bored. Anyway, after you got over these little actions, there comes the hard part. Let's say you have a few weeks, and things start to get serious. You're afraid it's just in your mind and you become confused. Or what if you can't live without that person anymore? That's scary.
Did you ever play The Sims 2 or 3? Well, if you did... and you made a perfect family of you and your crush, god forgive you because it's a terrible mistake. First of all, you're extra happy that you and your crush are finally together, and after some time you'll see that you'd be with that girl/guy in real life, and the fairy tale will forever end, because reality was never as in your dreams. Secondly, you'll go on a killing spree in your game if things aren't going the right way, and that it's not good for your health. Nope.
I know you're going to try now the idea because I told you it works (for me it worked almost every time - tried 3 times, 2 times worked till now) and it was a mistake. Thank you third guy because you didn't let me get to know you, so you'll be a nice memory forever.
Anyway, people are saying that if you love someone you don't know much, it's not love. Trust me, it's love. It can be love because you imagine your guy/girl perfect and you make a lot of imaginary situations in your head and every time you're thrilled to the core, and that my friend is a beautiful feeling that no one, but reality, wants to break. So, thank you, boy for not letting me fall from my snow globe.
As you may have noticed it seems like I share your commitment issues. I'm afraid I do. It's not because I can't keep a long relationship, I'm not too confident in love because I really haven't met the right person. I guess I'm afraid that I'll ever find it (yeah, "it" because it takes a lot of effort to materialize into "him").
If things get serious too early and you don't feel comfortable, don't be afraid to put an end. Sometimes, some things are not meant to be. And if you don't intend to fight, then don't push destiny. It may lead you to wrong places.
These commitment issues are more of a problem of trust. And if you trust your loved one, there's nothing that you can't reach. Fortunately, I still have faith in people, maybe a lot of them lost it forever, but it was just to make room for others who deserve it. Life it's not easy, but as we all go in death, you should live it with all your strength and joy.
Hello, world. Finally I have some energy, actually I have so much that I could spend it with everyone. What I want to talk about are some little things we need to confront in life.
Let's begins with those who talk nonsense (I know I can write a whole novel about this subject, so I'll only be covering a little of it). For example, I was coming home today, and a neighbor was talking with my grandma. I knew it was better if I avoided them, but that's life. Well, my neighbor started talking about how careful I need to be in life, to learn, to find a husband, and from here begins the drama. He said that my grandma should find me a husband, a good one of course. God, I so hate this discussions. I said "good day" and I left. Normally, that's called rudeness. I call it "avoiding stupid conversations".
Today I discovered I had a song (which unfortunately I can't share because it's in Romanian) with these very interesting lyrics. It tells a story that's funny and unnecessary; very similar to one of mine. But you know that moment when destiny follows you, and when the ironic situations reappear when you least expect them. Although I don't believe in destiny: one makes his own road, sometimes things happen that trigger different emotions like: ironic laughter, sarcasm, pain, memories (worst ones), drama and of course the "I told you so" phrase (my favorite one, followed by some mad laughter).
The best moments in my life are the ones when I don't love. And right know, it's perfect. I can choose anyone I want to, I can search slowly for the right person without "the blind effect" (you know when you're in love). I'm so sorry for the ones who suffer for some guy/girl that doesn't deserve. Best advice is to move on. Live your life. Be selfish for a while.
Do you know how it's like when no one understands you? Well, they don't need to. It's enough if you understand yourself. I mean you know best why you did something and what for. You know your goal, where you want to get to. Yeah, it's hard, but that the price for being unique (but try not to fall into the superficial act).
These are all the truths I can share today. I hope so, at least. More would be... too much? I love Coke ^_^
The War with Yourself: "Lying to be perfect" (the movie of course) is a beautiful way of standing up to everyday challenges. For those of you who haven't seen it yet, I will tell you a little about it. It's about a girl who's fat and has this bad opinion of herself. She is a very good writer and works at a magazine, but she can't progress because she doesn't have a pretty face and body. So she creates this character, Belinda Apple (she uses an image of herself on Photoshop) and suddenly she gets very popular and gets to publish book. The only problem is that she has to make a public appearance at the book party, and unfortunately you can't photoshop yourself in reality. If you want to know the whole story, watch the movie. You won't regret it.
Now, I don't know what problems do you have, but the story made me realize that it doesn't matter how you look, how old are you or where do you come from. What matters is how you let people talk to you. If you have low self-esteem you tend to accept when people tell you that you're not good enough. That, I think, is the worst someone can do: believe that they can't. There are a lot of talented people who don't know their value. There a lot of normal people who think they don't deserve this, that. Well, let me tell you: you don't need to lie to be perfect. You ought to do the things you feel, and if you fancy something, you have a person that inspires you, well let that inspiration make you feel good. You don't need to become someone else. I'm sure your friends are happy with yourself. It's you who's got to accept that this is your life and if you want to fight for it, then do it. What are you waiting for?
I don't have low self-esteem, I got over that problem a long time ago. Not that I was imperfect ever, it's just that I couldn't see the perfection in me. Everyone has that in their own unique way. You know well that beauty is seen differently in different eyes. So is perfection. Everybody keeps saying that first you need to love yourself. Let me tell you something. Yeah, you can have a boyfriend/girlfriend, a perfect life but if you don't love yourself, if you don't respect yourself, all of these are a lie and sooner or later everything in which you don't believe will go away. I want to share an experience of mine, but I don't want to let anyone to know who I'm talking about (anyway you can't because... well because you can't, I'm not giving any clues). I just can tell you that once I met someone (unfortunately a lot of people like this) and this person didn't love herself. She was beautiful and talented but she needed someone to tell her that. Of course, we all need to be praised from time to time, but to achieve something you actually need to believe in yourself. Well, this friend of mine had so much opportunities, and luck, and God, her life was perfect! And she couldn't see it. My friends always said they want to be in her place, and I wanted to for a time, I got to admit. But she didn't knew her value, so all her talents and her beauty faded away. I'm not saying she's some "crazy bitch" right now, I'm just saying when you see her you see just gray. Just like a shadow that wanders and can't be taken to her real value. I couldn't do anything to make her realize she's worth a lot more than she's thinking, but I guess some people don't want to be saved. She didn't have ambition, not even a bit, that was her biggest flaw. But, you, everyone has it, because is the main law of survival: you keep fighting because you want to get to a point: personal satisfaction. The ones who don't want to fight for themselves are a little weird... in the bad weird way, not funny. I mean, who can be pleased with their unpleasant life? If it doesn't make you feel good, you want to change it, right?
Being always happy is a hard thing to do, trying to keep going - the same, but what matters is that you're feeling good, and when you're down there is always a song that makes you feel better, always a friend to make a silly face or tell a funny joke (if you have any sense of humor, which I hope you have). The point is, there is always a way, you just have to follow it. And yeah, it's going to be hard sometimes, and you'll need help from friends, computer, games, music, life itself, but it's going to be worth it. You'll get to a point where you are pleased with yourself, with people around you and then, you'll set your next goal. And we all know how good it feels to have achieved something. Always keep in mind that what you want matters, and if others tell you can't do it, it's because they would be afraid to do it in your place. And if they are experts in that area they're afraid you'll be better.
P.S. Yeah, the song is intentionally chosen. You can! Good luck ^_^
I think this is the last part of TWWY(The War With Yourself). About life in general, there are a lot of things to talk about. I don't know if you're in the mood of reading all these crazy ideas that we all know surround us.
situation "A": Your parents control your life. If that's the case, you kind of have a problem. But, usually in this situation there are certain advantages that other don't have: maybe they don't let you go out much but they buy you a cool audio system (for example) or something similar. Maybe they let you call your friends at home a lot. My advice is to find an advantage and take the credit for it.
situation "B": You feel like you don't have any real friends. Well, then you have a serious problem. It's hard to know there isn't anyone to give you a friendly hug, a person with whom you can be sincere but I'm sure you know better than me what's it like. Good people are all over the world, even if you don't believe me. You can find a friend from another country, you can share all the secrets without the fear that he'll tell, but one day this won't be enough. Time to get out in the world, alone, and search for a sincere person who would like to spend time with you. It's going to be a long ride, because friendship doesn't form in a few days or weeks, sometimes it takes only a few months, sometimes it needs years. If you're part of a group (even at work) it's good to see if you can have a special connection with someone around there, because it's good to share most of your time with a friend with whom you have the same interests. I could talk all day about friendship, but if this part of your life is missing you better do something now, because later you'll regret. Oh, and you can keep your fake friends too, they're good when you are bored at home and don't have anyone to go out with.
situation "C": A lot of things are happening in your life. You're an over-dramatic person or you don't have a choice but to be one. You make a scandal even out of your smallest problem. Make a list of the things that are ok in your life, and the ones that are not, and change anything you like slowly, without telling everyone a thousand times a day what is happening or what happened. I'm talking here about the people who want to change this lifestyle. And, if you have a life like in Gossip Girl, then, my sincerest congratulations, because you have an interesting life that's filled with a lot of events, and people and friends, and love and everything you wish for or not. If you're like this crazy girl/boy with a lot of popularity and you think you got bored of it, trust me, you're not yet. It takes a lot to imagine the perfect life in the perfect conditions without getting bored, but the hardest part is to actually live it. So, even if you're exaggerating things what matters if you're living them.
That's the problem with people: they don't know when to stop dreaming and start living. So, no matter who you are, what you think you are, live for the dream! And trust me, when you want something there is nothing that can stop you, but your own personality and thoughts. So, if you want to blame someone, the only "criminal" is you.
There is a quote from Dollhouse, a very interesting TV series that says: "She's living the dream." "Whose dream?" "Who's next." Make sure you're living your dream and not anyone's else.
I'm not a psychologist so I can give you advice. If I'd be one, you would be the one who'll talk and I will just listen. Therefore, it's your choice what you learn from here, if you learn, or if you disagree with me.
Now let's return to The War With Yourself and let's talk about something pretty important: career.
situation "A": You don't know what you should do in your life. You have all these talents, but everything bores you fast, or you feel like you don't have any talents at all. In other words, you like many things but not enough to do one of them for a lifetime. There are tests you can take and find the right answer for you, and I recommend you should take one; even if it's just a game on the internet, because that's when you'll know the result.And the answer for you may be so wrong, you'll say that the path they tell you to choose has nothing to do with your life. And that's the moment when you'll realize what answer you were expecting. I took one of these tests, and they told me I'd be a great writer, yeah that's true, but I was so desperate in knowing if I'd be a great in working with computers. I liked both things very much, but I think the writing part will be just a hobby, or something extra, and my real career will have something to do with computers. Anyway, enough about me, in your heart you'll expect an answer. And no matter the result, you should do what you feel it's right for you.
situation "B": You don't want to do anything, you don't like anything. Well, this one is kind of complicated. One thing is when you have an option or more, but another is when you feel like you have none. In everyday life you like going to a certain place, doing something. Maybe you feel like you're just messing around, but could be an answer. For example, you like long walks: maybe you can become a touristic guide. Or maybe you like playing computer games: you can be a programmer, game designer, sound technician. There a thousand options to choose from, you just need to see them. And if you realize you don't like something, change it. As long as you're living it's never too late, no matter the age. In this situation you need to discover yourself.
situation "C": You're going on a single way because your parents told you so. If you don't like the path they already chose for you, change it. No matter the consequences, the worst thing is to be stuck your entire life with something you really don't like. It becomes too depressing in time. It's your life, your choices, your consequences, your results. Whatever your friends or parents don't like it's their problem. Maybe they have good intentions, but you don't like a career you shouldn't do it. First of all, you could be much better at something else, and secondly, it's so painful to go to work everyday and hate it. You'll fail not only in your career, but in your personal life too, because you'll be too stressed. Of course, there are cases when you begin to like something you hated, but if you're not sure you're one of them, better do something else.
Remember what I said about The War With Yourself=TWWY? Well, last time I kind of given you some theories. They work, but you may want to know about the problems you'll face.
The fact that you need to change some habits it's not so easy. I recommended an social life so you don't fall on depression. But eventually you will anyway. Then you'll read the other post, and you won't find any advice from it anymore. Everything will be superficial. Well, I told you is not going to be a smooth road. You need to set a goal, but if you're not sure what you should do, what's the best decision, well, then, things are getting complicated. It's dangerous to let life choose. Sometimes it works, but just going with the flow may not lead you to the best place.
Let's take some specific examples: love. Read this only if you have problems. And if you don't know me, because if you do, I don't what you to take anything personal... Whatever.
situation "A":You're in love with someone and you can't forget him/her (I'll just use him from now on, because it's kind of weird to put both every time, but you imagine your specific case). Think that if this love is poisoning, you need to respect yourself. You need to understand that there are billions of people, and there isn't just one right for you; there are many. And you can meet them all, you can be stuck on choosing, but remember: you always have a choice, always. But I'm afraid that 90% of them depend on you. And if you like: oh, I'll never forget him because he was so perfect... etc. Then, why did he leave? Why did he do that and that if he's perfect? Same thing goes for yourself. If you're not perfect, why would you crave for that person? I'm not trying to say that you're less than someone, I'm trying to make you understand that if you want a change in your life, you need to make different things. You can't expect an improvement in your love life, if you're just taking the same decisions. You can't begin something if you just say you will.
situation "B": You like many persons, and you don't know whom to choose from. My advice, a hypocrite one (if you still consider yourself a totally sincere person), would be to choose them all. Not at once, of course, but this life is filled with different roads, and if you can try as many as you can, why not? Yeah, you may suffer and all, but no matter what you choose you'll suffer eventually. Tell me if I'm wrong. But, if you want just one of them, you should look in your heart and see who you love the most. If every one of them looks right, you should investigate better: one of three apples is definitely rotten. Maybe I'm wrong with the apples, but with people never. You know you chose right when you're fully happy, when you don't care about other things, when you're ready to face the problems that will come (at least at the beginning). You can make a list of the qualities and flaws of each person, but you know no matter if one has many qualities than the others, what is important is how you feel with a certain person. The right choice may be wrong for others, so I'm afraid friends can't help much. I was advised by friends, and they wished me the best, but what mattered was in my heart, not in theirs. That's why when you ask someone what he things about your problem, they'll always tell you their choices, not yours, or they'll just tell you to choose by yourself. Good luck. Even if the road isn't easy, you usually figure it out anyway. So, don't worry too much.
situation "C": You don't have anyone in your life. If you're down on yourself, let me tell you without any resentment: you're a fool. Remember how ugly people have a cool guy/girl as a boyfriend/girlfriend? Well, these ugly persons don't feel ugly at all. And they don't send to the opposite sex that they're ugly. On the contrary I'd say. Everyone is special in their own way. You probably heard this like a million times, but I'm sure you have moments when you look in the mirror and you love yourself way too much. Or you see others who are full of themselves and you hate them. But did you stop to ask yourself if you hate them because they don't care much about others, or because they have confidence and they walk in a room knowing what they value? Yeah, they may exaggerate a little (more), but they let opportunities come to them because they think they deserve it. You should think the same. As you may have noticed, in this situation I talked about you, not the other mysterious person. That's because you are the problem here. To be more specific, your attitude. You may think: who is this person who dares to tell me what to think? But, I'm not here to do that. It's your choice if you want to change something or not. If you like the results until now, then that's perfect. If not, you should do something. May not feel right at first, but "something" is always better than "nothing".
P.S. Wicked or not, it's still love^_^ What is yours counts. What you want to be yours must be clear in your mind.
First of all, happy Easter to all, wherever you're from!
What if I ever tell you I discovered perfection? Would you believe me? Would you say it's just another beautiful lie? But what if I had proof? What if I were to say that your life is perfect?
Today is raining and you wanted to go out with your friends. Another lost day, you may think. But, you really want to feel the wind and the outside world. You get the umbrella and go with your best friend. The rain stops slowly and you're so happy. You begin to take pictures of the kind of sad nature and you feel so filled with life! Convinced the sun will rise once again, you take a long walk with your friend. After a half an hour suddenly begins to rain heavily. Your umbrella doesn't serve you anymore, and you're like *poker face*. Your friend starts laughing as the rain pours from the sky like a mad river and you both start running back home and you think in your mind: another wonderful day. Yes, I agree, this is perfection.
Today you need to go to school. You have no interest in that. It was hard to wake up early in the morning and you're almost sleeping at your first class. A random person sends you a random message telling you that he hid the body and what should he do now. You know this joke for quite a time and it just bores you more. You decide yet to reply and you tell this person that the plan is perfect and he can go home and rest, considering the fact you can't. Oh, such pessimism! Finally, the bell rings and you're happy to relax a bit. You decide to go out with your friends, but when you're on the hall you trip over some old books and you fall. Everyone starts laughing and you're like *Oh, no! God, tell me this didn't happen*. And as you are in your agony, your crush comes and gives you a hand. He/She is laughing too, of course, but in a sweet way that makes you blush and feel even more embarrassed. But, the whole day is enlightened by his/her touch. And even you find the courage to get out from the classroom. Hey, stranger, this was a perfect day!
This is kind of personal. Today, like in the most past days you're obsessed with your favorite band. They will soon release a new album and you simply can't wait. You begin to make a collage with their pictures which kind of takes you more than an hour. You listen to their old songs, to the ones that captivated you from the start, to the ones that didn't, you begin to like things you didn't like about them. You decide you don't have enough pictures so you start searching. Suddenly an idea gets you and you discover the songs of their album earlier!!!! You're like *Brb. I'm going to faint....... Ok, I'm good now*. This was one of my perfect days. I hope it will be yours too, when you find something you really fancy.
P.S. As you may have listened to the song, and actually heard the lyrics, you should now that you don't need to be saved by nobody. You have enough power to overcome a lot of things. I'm not saying don't ask for help, but don't expect anyone to go through your problems in your place. You are powerful enough to do that on your own. And if someone disappoints you, don't expect them to come back. Even if they do, they probably don't deserve your forgiveness. (I'm talking here about extreme cases, so please don't over-think this.) And if you disappoint, and you want to be saved, remember that you need first to stand up on your own to make the other person see that you actually improved and are ready for a new chapter. I won't say more, because I'm entering in another territory.
Wish you a perfect day, in the way that you understand perfection!
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