Today I learnt that experience has to be shared. I met a one of the million people that want to change the world, but to do that money is needed. And a lot of it if you want to do something good. Of course, there are situations and situations.
The main point is to go for your dreams. No matter how silly they seem. Someday you'll look back at the time that passed and you'll wonder why you didn't do anything when you had the chance. Time doesn't wait, and it feels like years pass faster and faster.
We all began a lot of things and we never finished them. For some of them we didn't even had the courage to make the first step. You don't need to see the whole stairs. Now I know that, and what matters is that life doesn't go backwards. If you want to do something about the past change your present. Don't think too much in the future because that is also losing yourself.
I'm finally done with all the exams, and I am sad. I am sad because a whole novel has ended. Another will begin shortly, but right now I'm not ready. I need to relive some of the past events, the ones that made me happy. I want to remember all the friendships, all the gossip, all the adventures. It feels now that all moments when I felt down had so simple solutions. Everything was just a story that I had the chance to write it at my own will, and yet I didn't see anything in front of me.
I am not sorry for the decisions I made, and I wouldn't turn back time to change anything, I would only return to do something more, to achieve more memories in all this time.
When something is ending, always something else will begin, but before the end make sure to have done everything you wanted until now. But, still, if you didn't, remember to take advantage of future situations.
Today I learnt a chapter of your life isn't over until you're disconnected from all the things that binds you to it. When it's time you're not afraid anymore, and you go on your own road, and looking back makes you feel proud that you achieved something and at same time it makes you sad because those moments are unique, they are not coming back.
Today I'm going to write about some strange things. For example, this year I've lost a lot of people. Or at least it feels like it. Another example is that this is my last year of high school.
So let's start with the losing of friends. It's not like I did something bad, or they did, but it just felt that our lives are no longer connected, not even from far away. It isn't an easy decision going further, but it's the only option I got. I wanted a tranquil year, and I didn't get it. Exactly the opposite. At least I had things to think about. Although, sometimes it feels better not to think about anything.
I wish I could turn back time to revive the moments again and again until I get bored, because I like life. Despite my tendencies of going for the pessimistic way, and the devil's side, I LOVE life! I like the bad parts too, and I adore when I can go through them totally numb, like I would be just a stander-by, like it wouldn't be my life, it would be someone else's and I would just look and see the facts on every side.
As I like people (some people at least) I like to evaluate things, and because I have imagination I can create stories for them all. Sometimes I do that for me and I wonder what if I would've chosen differently? I am pleased with my every decision though. It helped me understand life as it is: not a fairy tale, not hell, not heaven, and definitely not for me. Well, looks like I understood what life is not. Sorry for the confusion. But I'm not disappointed with anything. Maybe just with things that are ending, because new beginnings await and I am afraid I won't be able to get used with them.
