Hatred and Despair

Lie to me, lie because you know I know, but you want to forget. Drag me to hell, but refuse to say where we are going. Oh, where are we going? In my hell today, in yours tomorrow. In my mind you are a cockroach and I squash you a million times.


Lie to yourself because you can't stand reality, your sins are not so evil, but your mind has mysterious intentions, you wanna kill, kill, kill! And I want the same, you see we are made for each other, but, yet, we pretend to be angels with our sweet black&blue puppy eyes.


And I want you to scream my name in terror, like a suffering soul covered in a bloody scenario. And you want to rip the life out of me. You find yourself in these words and you don't want to admit it, and yet you wonder how is it possible that I know every thought of yours, every move, every desire. 


Hatred is such a beautiful feeling, you embrace it every night and you hold it tight like you love it, and you lie awake filled with a warm smile on a bloody carpet. You love this feeling. Such contradictions are in your mind and you want more and more hatred. You would do anything to have it in your hands to make shapes of it. We know the face of death, we know what's in hell or in heaven, but you wanna know the face of hatred. Maybe you are that face. Now you're laughing in terror knowing that I found your secret.


You devour hell. Why isn't it enough for you?

These problems... these people...

"I wake up to see the morning light, oh, but there is no light. It's just an empty space filled with dust in the wind. I get up from bed and I look at the mirror. What a sad look on my face. I am beautiful, I know I am, I have no disabilities but yet I feel sad, alone and unprotected." - These are feelings of depression. These are the feelings that a person who's suffering on the inside from different reasons says such things. How can I help him or her?


I tried to say that everything has an ending and a better start, but does it really matter? No, I'm just talking in vain, I'm just helping helpless people. They say they want to be saved, but they want to fall deeper and deeper. I'm not saying you don't have a real problem, or real problems, but if you want advice you have to be prepared to fight, prepared to change things into better if you really want to go on.


I don't understand why say you want to fight when you actually want to devour all the sins in the world? When you want to die, to make people suffer, to make you suffer? Why say you're a fighter? You wanna scream your problems but you don't want to solve them. You want to just be proud to have those problems. Love it. Embrace it! Why don't you put an end to it I have no idea!

The last visit...

Ok, I have been again at that house. I know for sure there is something, I found out the story from someone. It's a horror story of course... and the house not only that's haunted but I found out that's cursed too. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want anymore.


It didn't happen something bad... just one thing that shocked us all. The front porch was open. It had a lock that was unlocked and no one came or left from there... and after we visited the house, some time later, after I also left my cousin's house the door was again locked.


It wanted us to go there. It didn't want us to jump the fence... we were their guests and they treated us well. I'm not disappointed in anything I did, but these are the last words. I'm not ever writing about that house. Its somebody else's story there and I don't have the right to tell like it would be my story. My only story is that I have been to a haunted house, and it was fun, scary and again fun, but where things get complicated I better back off. I'm leaving things like this. They deserve their privacy and I deserve mine. 


I wanted to share my experience... now it's over. Forever, or, until next year when I'll visit my cousin again *evil laugh*.

I have been again...

This house it really calls me.I returned to my cousin and I visited the house again. I couldn't sustain myself. I think me and a friend are the only ones who the phantom calls so desperately. My cousin entered just for a few seconds in the house. Well, actually in the yard because the house it's locked.


So skipping to the events.I just saw a shadow, a light gray shadow passing in my left side when I was taking pictures of a window.I don't know if it was my imagination, but I guess it wasn't because I just feel it was something. It's hard to explain why.Maybe I believe and I know I'm not crazy. I know because I wasn't the only one who knows there is something.


My friend saw a girl beside a window dressed in white with her white hair and he saw it twice.It is said that rarely two people see the same thing at the same time, so even if I didn't saw it I believe him. He was really scared. Last time he acted cool until he went there alone and saw a crying woman looking at him. From that moment he became more scared even than I was ever.


Earlier I said I took pictures... well, they're not very clear because it was almost dark, and I didn't had a professional camera, not even one with a led flash. I took them with my LG Cookie. Stupid phone. But we weren't talking about that. Maybe we are crazy and we saw things that aren't there.Here is the picture... And if you don't see it, in the second I've marked the spot...

You'll have to see full size. Hint: On the middle  window which I want to say it's  actually a replacement with wood.

I've modified the contrast maybe you can see it better...

I was wearing a cross and it was still day and I said "What if doesn't appear anything else if I'm wearing this?" and I took it off... I don't know if that was me thinking or it was something more. When I got home I saw that my necklace was tangled. It took me a lot of time to get it back to normal. It had two knots. We also heard noises from a building where my friend saw the girl. They were like someone was in the house and was doing something. I don't know how to explain. They were like lousy cracks, they were like two, and later on we heard another noise which was coming from the well. Oh, and some months ago the well hadn't water and now it had. We also heard noises from the attic. I say maybe they were mice but my friend is sure they weren't. I don't know what to believe, but there is definitely something! 

When we had to leave we had to pass by a window in which my friend saw the woman when he was alone. He suddenly became very scared and he said he didn't want to jump the fence from there, but I tried to convince him it's ok. When we got closer to the window he made a few steps backward and he was very scared. I said "Come on, nothing is going to happen. God will protect us." As soon as I said the word "god" he started moving forward. I had the courage to look at that window.and I didn't saw anything. I couldn't take a good look but it was nothing so far.

I wasn't as scared as I was the first time when I saw or heard something from the house, but I don't know why I wanted more. I still do.

A ghost story... or not just a story...

I have something in my mind. I never thought they exist... I never thought that haunted houses are for real... I never believed until I saw it. I saw them... You can choose to believe me, you can choose to believe is just another ghost story invented by some blogger with imagination... whatever you choose you don't need to find out the truth if you can't handle it. It's hard... trust me.


The story begins on a average day when me and my cousin wanted to see some ghosts. Actually we always wanted to see them but we never believed. I'm not afraid of the dark, I don't believe in supernatural even though all my stories are about supernatural... We heard from our friends about a house that's haunted. The house it is for selling over 2 years... and it has something strange, the air... the rooms... the shoes left at every entrance... And we went there at 7pm and we stayed an hour and we waited. It was still day and nothing appeared. We made our friends liars... and we went home.


But then another day... we wanted to go there again. It was calling us. It is always calling us. 4 ghosts... and the four of us.... It was like 8 pm when everything started. I want you to know there are many buildings... I was with a friend at the main rooms and we where like in the back or something... And there was another door, of course locked (not everything is locked although... but we couldn't enter in the main house anyway) and I approached... I heard a sound like the wind... but it wasn't wind... I heard like a man was I don't know... what he was saying and it was right beside me. I didn't run, I didn't scream. The sound lasted a few seconds and then silence again. I asked my friend "Did you hear that??" and he said "Yes. I heard it." The rest of us were out of the house on a fence.


One of them called me... and I didn't hear it. So I call my cousin to see what happened. I try twice and it says that she is not available and once it doesn't say anything the call just ends. I thought her battery was dead but then I find out that her phone was working perfectly.... I was scared from what I heard and I went for a walk with one of my friends. We waited until it was dark and we entered again... And we saw things I don't want to tell you because they may have been reflections from lights... only there were faces... a girl, her mother, her father.. and someone else... someone we don't remember but we do know that he is a man... We were scared we were terrified... but we didn't leave it was calling for us and it wanted more and more and we wanted more too. Or maybe they wanted us to want more... I don't want to know. 


The moon was on the sky... it wasn't a full moon but its light was pleasant. We were staying on some stairs and in front of us was another building with like 2 rooms. And the door suddenly seemed open. My cousin told me to look from a different angle and the light of the moon was entering in the dark room like the door was for real open a little. I got amazed and we didn't scream. We didn't run but we didn't dare to look closer... to go there to see if it really was open.


The other noises that we heard I won't describe them because they just mean that there is something... well... someone. At 10pm we went home. It was enough. Actually it wasn't but I was staying at my cousin home and we had to go back. On the road we talked about the haunted house and we realized something. I did. I remembered again the light of the moon on the door... but there was a little problem. The moon was behind the house and that light couldn't have been from the moon. It was impossible. And I remember I said it so natural "It's nothing. It's just the light of the moon." And it seemed so natural... until I realized where was the moon actually. 


It still calls us... someway or another.